Figuring Out What You Should Be Doing

I completely identify with this article. Thanks for giving me a better way to think about this issue. Recently, I’ve felt the need to narrow my focus in my career for a handful of the reasons that you specified. I can’t say that I feel more passionate yet about narrowing my focus (because I’m happy learning about pretty much anything as well), but am feeling compelled to try it out for a while. This seems like a key concept– to try in steps/phases and reevaluate.

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I’m actually in the midst of this perpetual struggle at the moment. There are so many things that I’m interested in but nothing that makes me feel overly passionate. I appreciate reading something like this, it can help me to gain a better perspective on focusing on something for the long-term rather than just the short-term of “when I feel like it” or when something is the most interesting and then switching to the next thing a week or so later. I do have multiple interests that even though I take breaks from them, I tend to go back to them at some point and re-consider their “rightness” so perhaps I’ll focus on one of those things.

Right now I’m slowly putting my home dark room together so I can get back to working on my photography as I used to really enjoy it and spent many hours on it. I would have to agree; however, that most frequently what I enjoy is the act of learning something new itself.

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Corin Reply:
December 21st, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Other things in my life fit my hedgehog concept, just not work. For example, raising my children. It’s something I’m passionate about. It’s something that I’ll put 10,000 hours into. And it fits my happiness of engine of learning because it’s constantly a learning experience.

I’m simplifying my life and trying to get evaluate my activities to see if they fit my Hedgehog Concept. My objective is to make sure that the activities that fill my Six Critical Needs fits my Hedgehog Concept.

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Victoria Reply:
December 22nd, 2010 at 4:11 am

I’m glad you mentioned conscious child-rearing; I do have one constant passion that I’ve stuck with for 25 years! Helping my five children grow into themselves has been a most fulfilling learning experience. I’ve grown and expanded myself along the way. In many ways, giving myself the nurturing and self-acceptance that I didn’t experience as a child.

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I was wondering if any people reading this site would like to set up and join a mastermind group via telephone. I am a businessman with many interests. I would enjoy talking with other infps that own businesses or are freelancers and battle the distraction of always looking over their shoulder to what they believe is a greener pasture instead of shipping as seth godin puts it

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This so fits me! And, like you, I love to learn. I would truly like the recognition that comes from writing and publishing, but, because of other issues that I’m resolving, I haven’t done anything in that area. I mostly stick to creating poetry for family. “Ability, Opportunity, and Deliberate Practice” have always been sticking point with me. I like the Hedgehog concept, too. When I’m just doing housework, if I don’t pin myself down(rather like a cloud sometimes) to what I’m doing, I tend to start doing other things. Like I said, now that I’ve resolved and continue resolving other issues, I find myself enjoying life as an INFP and exploring ways to bring my major passion-writing poetry and fantasy-to life. Thank you.
Love and Light on a Prosperous New Year,
Lauren

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Corin…I am impressed that you’ve stuck with this blog for some time now. It’s self-reflection, which of course we INFPs are doing a lot of anyway…but in the structured, disciplined format of this blog. It seems that, as you’re becoming more and more aware of your nature, you’re attempting different ways of trying to work with it and grow yourself into more of who you wanta be.
This is, to my mind, what we as humans are here for. To grow in awareness and selfhood. To grow spiritually and as human beings here for a brief time on earth. All in all, one way I look at it is….it’s an awesome opportunity for trying stuff out on this surprisingly interesting temporal plane. As I get older I’m mostly trying to do the best I can with day to day survival stuff while…
1.trying out ways to have better/more fun experiences with other people
2. attempting to be impeccable at my job (I haven’t gotten there yet, but it’s a goal…)
3. reminding myself to be authentic– AND kind and compassionate
4. keeping a sense of humor
5. forgiving myself for being so far from “my ideal”
6. accepting and appreciating ing other people
( even though THEY’RE so far from my ideal) 🙂

My greatest challenge is to keep my focus even when I start to “go INFP” and get bored. Sometimes I just need to reinspire myself by talking with a creative thinking friend–or listening to passionate music or an inspiring podcast…Gotta just pump some life back into the passion-center to find the energy to keep racking up those experience hours…. Competence is its own reward, as long as we can keep re-invigorating the work with personal meaning…

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I always have an aha moment everytime I read your blog, but this time, I seriously took it into consideration. That’s why, I’m now starting to accumulate 10,000 hours in writing, even if its far from what I’m supposed to be doing (I’m studying Accounting). Why I ended up in that field is another story, but because as an INFP I have the tendency to jump from one thing to another when I get bored or uninspired. I hope I can pull off this new little project of mine. Thanks Corin! It was just the perfect boost that I needed to pace up my game and do what I have always wanted 🙂

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Corin Reply:
January 5th, 2011 at 12:10 am

I think the most important thing about the 10,000 hours is you learn to spot opportunity in your area of expertise. It’s like rock climbing. To an expert, what may look like nothing to a novice is a firm hold that the expert can use to move upwards.

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I am a Graphic Design major for the first time at age 42, but have been an artist since I could first hold a pencil and went one year of college at a traditional art school. Before deciding what it was I wanted to major in, I was doing Open Source Graphic Design for the past three years, and so it seems that consistent interest in a particular field of study, a running theme, or the interest one inevitably returns to would be a good gauge as to what one would enjoy as a career. I turned down a few music scholarships (a violinist) to pursue art school. I am realistic in my expectations of the job. Obviously, most of the day to day projects on the job will be rather rote, but with that “cause-oriented” mentality, there is nothing that says I cannot do some freelance, even charitable design work to promote the causes that I support, and as a personal cause, I realize with my talent I can earn a good living and help support my talent. Being very perfectionistic, and taking what I do seriously, I approached my Open Source Graphic Design as if I were a highly paid professional, did design for free, gave myself design challenges and imaginary projects with deadlines, constantly “one upping” myself, and worked at being ever efficient at designing a vector or typeface, eliminating redundant steps, move through the indecisiveness, and wouldn’t allow for something to go unfinished, and “churned” them out, so to speak, as quickly as I could. Practice makes perfect thinking.

Two things we have in our bag of tricks as INFPs that are to our benefit in a career path are that we are self motivated starters, and as Spring said, we can imagine the possibilities, ie., we can find meaning and purpose in things that most everyone else considers mundane. I have observed that the truly successful people, the most innovative, before-their-time greats simply did not care that other people considered their ideas crazy, impossible, much too innovative, or theoretical and believed wholeheartedly in what their purpose was and what they were doing and saw it through to the end. INFPs are capable of that, and I am sure we have all been perceived, since childhood as stick-out-like-a-sore-thumb weirdos (whether you were trying to be inconspicuous or not), daydreamers, “out there”, the oddball, rare personality (I wear it with pride), so since that is a give in, what is left or stopping us but ourselves? There are no wall flowers in the bunch (:

I LOVE your blog! Low barriers to self-publication my a**, it is brilliantly written, full of interesting information and from a refreshingly uncommon perspective…I might be a tad biased, but your blog is a new favorite!

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I have been searching for my hedgehog concept for close to a year now (well actually for longer than that in a vague scattered sort of way but much more actively since being laid off last spring) and I keep going around in ever more frantic circles like a mouse in a drum as the benefit deadline approaches. I have stuck it out in mind-numbing nowhere jobs for long periods of time (twice for over ten years) where I was not suited for them at all but afraid to take the chance of leaving them to try to get the training to find something better and too run down to retain much while actively employed. Sometimes it would seem as if time just jumped ahead with a fuzzy routine being the only sign of it passing and nothing really to show for it (depression and stress contributed a lot to that as well as the nowhere job). While stress is still building I am pulling out of the fuzz finally and scrambling to find a direction and career path that does not lead back into the trap I was in for so long. Your article helped me focus and sort things out a little and put a name to what I am doing. Now I need to get collected enough to find a job that leads in the right direction.

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I come here often as I feel like someone is writing whats I my head! Reading this blog is like reading myself on a piece of paper. I absolutely love the suggestions put forth by Corin and all the commentators. This hedgehog concept is very helpful and worth a try, but like Corin points out 10,000 is not easy for a INFP!

I believe we need to do some soul searching using the hedgehog concept as the base and also try to get some input from the Holland’s Code (for cross verification). I’ve done a little soul-searching myself and have come out with a few ideas. Hope this helps my fellow INFPs out there.

The search for the “right job” for “our type” of people never seems to end. I’ve tried my hand at I.T., medical transcription, sales…but nothing seems to hit the nail. Like someone here pointed out, sometimes it is more because of the surroundings and the people around me, that drive me to quit the job. I too have been fishing around for “the best job” for months now…all the while assimilating, processing, comparing the facts, re-experimenting (thank God for my engineering degree). To make a long story short, it seems like I’ve arrived at a few conclusions/opportunities for our kind of people. I thought it might you guys. Anyway, do let me know what you think about my ideas.

Psychologist:
I have a strong feeling that being a psychologist might be a better career for an INFP, as it offers an opportunity to deal with new people everyday. And we will have learned a set of result-oriented skills that can be used over and over again…without having to update frequently. Neither do we need to compete with someone else. The other side of this career is that we might be bogged down by all the caring we might need to provide. Counseling is one thing, but having to be a “shoulder to cry on” for months on end might really give us a nervous breakdown. We need to learn 2 things here if we’re going to stay in psychologist’s profession:

1) Never get too emotionally involved with the client. We being known for our sympathetic ears are prone to identify and “over-care” for our clients way beyond the professional code.

2) After the office hopurs, we need to find a way to let our hair down every once in a while, if not everyday. Maybe we need to learn to loosen a bit by hanging outdoors with our friends/spouse/stranger-at-the-bar, in short anyone who can put our minds off the clients problems. I specifically wrote “outdoors” (away from home), because I think hanging out indoors(home/ regular place of stay) could set in a certain kind of monotony and we are sure to catch ourselves thinking of the client’s problems. Being outside provides more information for your senses to process and make you want to share those feelings with your mate.

Physician/ Family Doctor:
Well, again you get to see different people…no need to frequently update your knowledge (unlike I.T. where you need to reinvent yourself with the latest technology every 6 months!) BTW, a physician gets a lot of attention/dates/respect. I personally know a few physicians who are not really that good at their profession, but just the word “doctor” seems to recreate an amicable self. But, this would be a job to enjoy and help…especially if you are qualified in the alternative therapy system of medicine.

Now for the downside of being a physician. You need to be in your office every working day. Unless you really love this commitment, you can’t enjoy the job. Some of the INFPs I know don’t really like a 9-5 job whatever the job be! (more so if the job doesn’t let you out of the cubicle). You might sometimes have to work late, miss being with your spouse, kids, parties, friends, life-that-you-thought-you-could-enjoy. The process of turning into a physician is time consuming, requiring anywhere between 4-10 years of dedicated studies. If you are already in the 30-40 year age group, you might not really want to put in all the hard work, though you might really love the idea of seeing yourself in a helping profession.

Yoga Teacher:
While I could label the above as “Personal Trainer”, the reason I labelled it as “Yoga Trainer” is because yoga stands for a certain kind of intellectual and spiritual pursuit, that a gym-trainer job doesn’t provide you with. Do you know that not every yoga pose suits every person! And neither is yoga just a series of stretching/ therapeutic postures…these are just the by-products of your inner-development, your search for your true self. Now, I personally feel that this job appeals to my sense of work. I get to heal and guide people gracefully. Yoga doesn’t push or hurry people into a certain pose in a certain amount of days. Every ones constitution is different. While one day is all it takes for one to do a pose, a week isn’t sufficient for another! Again, you don’t need to sell something or compete with anyone here. All you are doing is helping them to find peace, harmony, and health, and if you are being paid for that, would it get any better?

Now the downside. There is fierce competition already. Almost every street seems to have a yoga studio! And I believe the pay isn’t much. There are new yoga teachers hopping onto the bandwagon everyday, so you might find yourself replaced with a cuter and younger teacher in a few years! (unless you manage to carve a name for yourself who guarantees results enough to make the studio run on your name alone!)

There are a few other ideas, but it seems like I have already written my best ideas. Let me give you two more ideas.

Entrepreneurship:
Produce/Buy and sell your products online/offline.

Internet Marketing:
Copy writing, Affiliate Marketing, SEO, CPA, etc, kind -f jobs. You can choose to work either at an agency or set up your own home-business.

Thanks for reading. Share your ideas and thoughts. Each of us INFPs have enough bad experiences in the corporate rat-race, and each of us is creative enough to think out of the box and find some adorable jobs. Lets pool our thoughts and ideas here and each of us can walk away with what appeals to our unique selves….remember though we all are INFPs, each of us have unique experiences in life and so are prone to take a liking for slightly different jobs…like if one starts to strive to a physician, yoga might appeal to the other, yet another finds his/her dreams come true through web marketing!

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April Reply:
July 26th, 2016 at 11:33 am

wow! i really enjoyed reading your blog and the comments of fellow INFPs. It’s feel so good knowing i am not alone with the same mentality. I used to think something must be wrong with my psyche, why I can’t decide what i want to do, and why i want to try almost everything. I discovered a year ago that I am an INFP but just last month that I dig and search about it. What I’ve discovered amazed me. Today I discovered that my primal astrology sign is a Hedgehog. Which I think leads me to this blog. The coincidence amazed me, tickles my mind while I was reading your blog about the story of the fox and hedgehogs i thought I was the hedgehogs but it turned out that I am the fox. Made me wonder Hedgehogs primal astrology often are INFP.
We’ll like all of you I am in my forth year of my job as a procurement officer in a trading company. It’s bores me to hell. I always thought that if only I am not caught with responsibilities as a bread winner and single mom I don’t have to stay in this job that I don’t love. But hence I don’t have a choice. Well truth of the matter is I don’t know what else to do if I don’t have this job. I mean there are a lot of things to do that interest me at first. But I know myself, count a month or two and i won’t feel like doing it anymore. This blog of 10,000 hours made me think that I need to take this seriously. Obviously I cannot quite this job right now, but I least I can start to invest. However, I hope since this blog was written few years ago, I hope the 10,000 hour to mastery had been modified to a shorter time. Now I need to narrow down my option choices of careers to pursue. I hope procrastination won’t attacked me this time.

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Pam Reply:
December 2nd, 2016 at 10:05 am

This is a nice comment 🙂

I’m currently in college and I’m pre-med. I actually want to be a Family Doctor specifically. I think the idea of having people depend on me and need me is really appealing. I also love learning. However, I’m scared because I’m a huge procrastinator and I find it hard to focus for long periods of time… I have a thousand hobbies that I can’t seem to maintain while getting excellent grades… and I am not cut out for competitive things like getting into medical school and landing a great residency. Do you know any INFP doctors? If so, could you let me know what they’ve said about becoming doctors and how they did it, and whether they are satisfied? I actually want to live in a small community when I start working.

Thanks!

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Yeah, I understand what it is to wait for inspiration!! Loving your job is good, but being paid for loving what you do is better. For me, it took years of drifting around jobs, times when I was throwing up into many things at once…only to end up with none. After reading this article on “Hedgehog Concept”, it just dawned on me what I did wrong all those years. Fortunately, I seem to be moving through my 10,000 hours in my life now. As for the “inspiration part”, I set aside 2 hours a day to dabble in whatever catches my fancy at that time. Over the years, I have observed that this pursuit never ends. We are constantly dreaming that that pursuit is the destiny of our lives…only to lose interest after a few months/ years. So, I’ve taken up a job that I love and set aside 2 hours for whatever that interests me. This seems to work for me, and I’m doing fine.

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Hi, Just wanted to say I enjoy your blog and why, your words read as though you might appreciate that. Finding the term and definition of INFP was much like the bulls-eye in the picture above. I mean wow! How liberating to be able to define and understand what makes you tick. Just knowing that it IS possible for someone else to actually get me let alone may even function much like me. Learning that other people like me actually exist! Like I said Wow! Focusing on INFP surfers is a good business model for a web site. We want to help you succeed nearly as much as you do.

Part 2 (ok maybe 3)of why. Plain and simple honesty. It seems to me that you write what you actually believe. It comes through in your words and drives me to keep reading here rather than the next google result. So maybe you have found your quills. I do enjoy your writing. If you will allow me to continue writing to you as though we are long friends I would like to suggest you don’t allow perfection to hinder your editing too much. Jab out the words and don’t delete too many sentences you start writing. I often start an idea when I write without any clear direction to where I am going. That would result in a deleted thought and writing in a new direction. Recently I have begun to copy and paste my incomplete thoughts for later dissection and re-thought. Does wonders for my productivity and I can still write about that new thought that turns into an immediate short story. If it works for this INFP maybe it can serve you well. In any event Best of luck! Keep at it, that is my greatest challenge.

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Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog yesterday as I was reading about INFPs. And I really love what you’re writing about.

I know this was posted a while back, but I just needed to respond because I’ve been thinking about the Hedgehog Concept. In true INFP fashion, I’d like to overanalyze why this struck a chord for me:

I’m not sure that I agree entirely with your message about success and expertise. Yes, this could be because I’m protecting my ego from admitting failures, but also because I don’t know that everyone needs to be an expert at something. I haven’t read that particular Gladwell book, so I’m not about to dispute those ideas. But the concept that we could/should all be striving for expertise in some area, and committing 2-3 hours a day for 10 years? Ah! I have a strong aversion to this. Because, I do agree that INFPs will benefit from sticking with a goal, but I don’t know that I’ll ever be an expert at anything. And to equate success in life with expertise, and setting up an end goal like this, it’s very daunting for me! It sounds like a trap, and a recipe for more self loathing or sense of defeat.

So, this topic of the Hedgehog Concept centers on commitment to goals, something the INFPs tend to be averse to. I think something to keep in mind is that our intuition, ability to read/relate to people and their struggles, this may be an inherent “expertise” of the INFP. Something we are born with and continue to hone over the years, for better or worse.

Of course, I’d love to be an expert at something. I’m just worried that it’s not in my nature to strive for, or stick with, these 10,000 hours. I’ve become an expert at thinking myself into inaction and waiting for “the right time” to start something. I’ve had 10+ years at ballet, voice, acting. But I wouldn’t call myself an expert. I never had the drive or self discipline to be great.

And another thought, when it comes to the INFPs desire for recognition: there seem to be many people who have been recognized for their contributions, without necessarily accruing 10,000 hours at their given talent. I’m thinking of vocalists and writers in particular. And what about psychologists who publish great research at the beginning of their careers? Maybe they’ve been honing some of those skills, but not necessarily doing formal psych research for 10+ years?

Anyway, I’m writing too much. But just something to think about. Is it realistic for INFPs to have a Hedgehog Concept plan? Is it OK if we don’t? And simply try to accept our more holistic, expansive view of the world? I’d love to be great at the guitar, but I’d rather spend that 2-3 hrs time reading novels.

Sorry if these thoughts are meandering. I like the way that you talk about the happiness engine. I like much of what you say here, but maybe my ego got in the way of my accepting this Hedgehog Concept. I suppose it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I found a passion and worked diligently. Now if I could only find what that might be! 🙂

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Corin Reply:
September 21st, 2011 at 9:42 am

For the most part I try to explain concepts and skimp on the methodology or the how. How do you figure out what you’re passionate about which is something I’m trying to figure out for myself now? How do you get 10,000 hours into something you want but don’t have the time or monetary resources? How do you figure out what really makes you have, what drives that engine of your happiness? Methodology is different for everyone so I try not to promote one over another.

The other thing that we need to keep in mind is how we define success. When we define success, are we filtering (limiting what we consider success to protect ourselves) or projecting (defining success by scripts passed on by society, parents or peers). For some people, personal success is making a million dollars. For other success is just living in the moment and being happy with their life. Both of those require expertise because being present and living in the now isn’t something that people do naturally. It takes practice to the point where it’s natural. I don’t know very many people who are present naturally.

It took time, just like it took time for all those “overnight” successes like J.K. Rowling or Stephanie Myers. We just don’t hear about the work. No one just sits down and writes best selling novel. People who write and publish have been doing it since they were a kid. Some people like Miley Cyrus have been singing before they could walk and natural talent accelerates the 10,000 process. Someone talented in a particular area may have a multiplier depending on their talent level, i.e. a x2 multiplier where for every 1 hour they spend, is equivalent to 2 hours spent by a normal person. Overnight success usually takes 5-10 years. The media only reports on the last 2.

The Hedgehog concept is just one tool. Your Hedgehog Concept should be able to fulfill at least half of your 6 Critical Needs (another tool) which is why I write about personal development instead of baking. If it doesn’t then we have to re-evaluate our concept. I also think that the Hedgehog Concept has to be incorporated into you creative self-expression (another tool) so it’s not about doing more to get your 10,000 hours, but instead it becomes being more in order to get your 10,000 hours.

Also, how you view the accrual of 10,000 hours is something that should be reflected upon. You see 10,000 hours as long-term goal setting and I don’t. When I write a post, I don’t think about some long-term goal of making this blog huge and monetizing it. My “goal” is to write concisely as possible while trying to convey very vague concepts. I write everyday, not because I set a goal to do it, but because it’s part of my creative self-expression, it’s part of who I am. When I do sit down to write every day, I’m being myself and not accomplishing a goal.

Personally, I don’t think goal-based living works for INFPs. And I’ll be writing about intention based action vs goal based action. I find that intention based living, a more holistic view of living which fits me better then goal based living which only worked to a point and didn’t make me that happy once I went back to reflected on it.

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Angela Reply:
November 16th, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Hi,

Do you think it would be practical for every day people to apply the hedgehog concept to their personal lives? We cannot always make a living off of what we are passionate about.

I appreciate your opinion.

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Corin Reply:
November 16th, 2011 at 1:19 pm

It’s not about passion. It’s about all three. If you aren’t able to get your 10,000 hours in then you’re never going to be any good at what you’re passionate about. If you’re not any good at it then you won’t be able to monetize it.

Making a living is often narrowly defined as getting a job, i.e. find some company to pay you for work you want to do. I define making a living as monetizing your skill sets. Money comes from other people. So in order to monetize, you have to use your skills sets to create value. If you create enough value, people will be willing to give you money in exchange for that value.

Angela Reply:
November 16th, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I agree, but is it practical to try and apply to a persons personal life?

I’m trying to figure out how I can apply this to my home life (work aside); using the simplicity of the three circles. For example, how could a stay-at-home mom use these principles to make her life better?

Thank you.
Angela

Love your blog. Thanks heaps. To your point “I no longer worry about why sometimes I am into something and sometimes not”, I started logging my modes. Paint mode, or corporate mode, as I mostly swing from one to the other, and the modes last anywhere from 2 days to about 50 days, but for some reason I find it helpful logging the modes, and then enjoying the change. Especially when it changes to paint mode and everything looks magical and mysterious and wonderful again!

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Reading all these is like reading myself! I’m lost in the ocean of possibilities and indecision. I majored in English Studies and work as an English teacher in my country but the money I make is little. My interests were always theoretical.. sociology, philosophy, poetry, writing, understanding humanity and expressing emotion. However now I come to realize that appart from the joy of learning and theorizing I’ll also have to pay the bills :/ So I’m considering switching careers into something more ‘practical’ like advertising, marketing, biotechnology or computational linguisitcs. There’s no relation whatsoever among those fields, I may be crazy for considering such diverse options and still not being passionate about any. Hopefully someday I’ll find something to ‘click’ and inspire me…

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Fouad Reply:
February 21st, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I totally understand where you are coming from, I have studied many things in my life from IT, Import and Export, holistic herbalism to fashion design and garment making, currently I work in IT and the money is good but as you could imagine it’s very repetitive and requires very little imagination.

the difficulty im facing now is I’ve built a certain life style around this salary and it will be very difficult for me to leave it all and start from scratch, what I decided to do in the meanwhile is augment my career, in that I do IT for the money but use that money elsewhere to improve and develop my hobbies through weekend courses and buying tools and equipment to learn more about stuff, and when the time is right and I feel I have enough experience and money to move out of IT I will take the leap, That way I keep my lifestyle and do what I enjoy at the same time, it’s not perfect, but it’s balanced.

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I think that you have a good point about INFP. When I discovered I am INFP, I also discovered INFP’s weakness and my own weakness too. I found out that life is not always like we imagined, the only way is to learn how to accept the circumstances instead of blaming ourselves. When I learnt that lesson, I started to be calmer.

I used my (Te) to analyze myself based on facts. Then, I found out that which majors I like best, what kind of person I want to be in the future, or in the next 5 years, which one I should concetrate. You cannot learn everything because you are not God. No one forces you to be perfect, and you don’t need to force yourself to be more perfect. And then, I stop to wander around, I focuss on my major, but also expand my interest by learning new things.

I noticed that when I stop to be perfect, I began to be a ‘perfect’ person. It is quite true. According to Budhism, it said that when you stop thinking you are like that, you became like that. Budhism save my life alot. I learn alot about how to balance my value with reality. Now, I think life is the combination between of inspiration and perspiration. The problem is how much you understand yourself clearly.

Being INFP is not like closing the door and living on our own world. Being INFP means accept ourselves and using our abilities to fit to this world.

I still stuck with my perfectionism sometimes, I still stuck with my relationship, my lonliness and those traits of INFP. But everybody can learn from their lesson to be more mature and happier and so do I. I learn how to create my weakness into my strong point. I choose to be stronger, independent, and sympathetic.

Many people say that INFP can hardly be a leader. But I can and I do well, people say to me that I am reliable, they feel safe to be with me. Even thought there are other ones don’t like me at all. It is okay, I learnt that it is life at all so I don’t need to torture myself about that.

A lot of people mistook INFP as a weak and emotional personality, but everybody around me always comment about me like: strong, independent, leader, brave, confident,etc….. but they also realize that how warm and gentle I am, how stuborn I am, how consistent I am. It is the result of practising and meditating. I learnt that keeping your INFP’s strong point and learnt about some tricks and skills can make you be more happier and be recognized by people.

Nobody can be perfect, but they can choose to learn to improve themselves. That is why your advices are helpfull. I recommend that INFp should follow and practise instead of commenting that “yeah, I have a lot of problems there and here,etc…”

PS: an interesting thing that I found out about INFP is INFP is good at pointing out the problem, but they never put it into action, or try to solve it… Actually, I found out that people always admire you when you can solve the problem more than pointing them out. Even thought recognize the problem is the first and important step, but you have to finish the final step: solving problem too. Solving problem needs you to be patient alot. Sometimes it took us a lot of time to do it many times, again and again. Those traits seems not working for INFP since INFP can’t stand the routine.

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J Reply:
June 27th, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Well written Luu Kim.. I agree.. Meditation is especially beneficial for us INFP’s, as it gives our mind a break from the constant ‘chatter’ and flow of ideas.. I’ve often found I have many of my best insights and fresh ideas following meditation.. The inner stillness I feel post-meditation also helps me tune into my intuition and thus gives me greater clarity when making decisions.

(For those interested in learning about meditation, I recommend having a listen to listen to Alan Watts’ – Still the Mind). His teachings have been invaluable for me personally, and I think of him as one of the most gifted philosophical speakers of his time.. He was a student of Japanese Buddhism, and an ENFP! 😉

Moreover, It’s both refreshing and humbling to hear about all the similar traits and life experiences of other INFP’s. We always seem to be in a constant state of change.. much like the tides, the rivers, and the universe itself. It can be extremely frustrating and at times painfully so, when indecision gets the better of you.

Luu Kim.. I was wondering if you might be able to share some of the strategies you used for improving/developing your inferior extraverted thinking (Te)? I find that developing the tertiary and inferior functions brings me personal balance and I’m always on the lookout for practical ways to do this.

Stay brave 😀

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Talk about synchronicity! I’m at a juncture in my life where I have to decide what to do next in terms of purpose and making a living. I’ve started doing all this work on identifying my passions, strongpoints, talents etc and have run into exactly this issue: I can’t commit to one direction because I feel like I’d be missing out on everything else. Everything others wrote on this blog covers my feelings on this.

And p.s. I already have Good to Great and haven’t read it yet. Here’s my opportunity.

Scanning the comments here, I wonder if one approach is to always stick to learning mode and that will help us decide what we want to commit to. I’m the same as others, when I’m learning, I’m happy.

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Thanks for the blog article and for sharing your often illuminating thoughts. I was a bit depressed as my black belt in martial arts came after only 300 hours..

Not to beat my own drum though I did a PhD and it took 10,010 hours in 3.5 years full time study and so I can validate that rule. Just a warning though to make sure those 10,000 hours have a clear direction from the start, I did a subject because I was good at it and interested in it. However, I had a dream of being in a certain place after completing the PhD (I was told it would get me there and would ge a decent job there etc), but sadly it never worked out (even after 7 years later..). So I’m considering to go to that place anyway (a king of f*** it attitude) and do a low-level job I could have done without the PhD in the first place (this dream of mine persists). When i graduated there was very little info out there and no blogs/forums that allow information to be passed around so easily so i took the plunge with the phd, I was amazingly dedicated and organised although I had to force myself really, became like a machine really and hated it TBH… Wish I’d just done 10,000 hours in martial arts instead 🙂

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I have just discovered at the age of 47 that I am a INFP, at a job search course no less, and your article and everything in my life now makes perfect, horrible sense. A few nights ago I had a dream about being bitten by a fox, one of those clear, vivid dreams that you just know is your subconcious trying to tell you something. Alas, I’m beginning to get the picture. I’ve searched long and hard for that perfect career, the one achieved by following your bliss, and have always been frustrated because although my interests are many and varied, my passions are brief and insubstantial. I think it may be getting a little late in the day for my Hedgehog concept, but thank you for your words. At least any career decisions I make in the near future will be made with a substantially more self awareness and knowledge aforethought. Cheers!

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I’m 23 years old and recently graduated from college with a communications degree. I chose this degree by default, based off of a lack of interest in any other major, although I’ve always had a aptitude for drawing and creative arts. For the past 4 or 5 years I’ve become conscious of my lack of discipline, and how I only choose to practice my talents when I feel inspired to. This has caused me to constanlty beat myself up after aimlessly trying force myself to draw or learn adobe suite software out of a need to feel productive. Needless to say this has caused me much frustration and maybe even depression at some points. I recently discovered my INFP preference, and it’s a breathe of fresh air to see that there are other people in the world that feel and struggle with the same things that I do, and I am thankful for the direction that comes as a result of it. The hedgehog concept sounds tough to me, (especially the deliberate pratice part) but it’s a dose of realism that is very much needed in my life. I’m going to take my time and figure out what I’m passionate about and talented at, and aim my focus there.

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Corin Reply:
October 6th, 2012 at 1:20 am

Follow your curiosity. Finding a career is like finding a girlfriend. You’re not passionate about a girl right away. You don’t go, I’m passionate about this girl so I’ll start dating her. You start dating her because you’re curious and then it’s only after you find out more do you develop a passion.

Careers are the same way. Follow what you’re curious about. Stay out of debt. And hopefully that curiosity turns into something that you would want to put 10,000 hours into.

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I LOVE your blog! Almost every article really resonates with me. I’m at a point in my life where I have finally realized that listening to what everyone else said I should do with my life was a baaaaad idea.
Of course, getting a nursing degree is a perfectly logical way to secure a good job and make money, but now all I want to do is make enough money to pay off my student loans so I can finally quit working as a nurse, to pay off my student loans… 🙁 Working for someone else depresses me and even though 40 hours a week doesn’t sound like much in the grand scheme of things, I feel like it takes over my whole life.
I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what I’m passionate about and what makes me happy, but I just don’t know if I can make a living at it. I feel like I will always lack in the “connections” department, and that will hold me back from making a living as an artist, because of my lack of people skills. And also, I struggle to find time to actually practice my crafts when you factor in cooking/cleaning/errands/sleeping etc. all of which my husband doesn’t really have time to help me with right now, because he’s starting a business.
I just feel so stuck now. I desperately want to be able to do something significant to contribute to getting us out of debt, but I feel totally incapable. I can barely stand working an average job for goodness sake! I feel like if I was just someone different I’d be able to start a successful business and make money while being happy and not having to work for someone else. Just seems like I don’t have a business mind or something…I have lots of good ideas but even with help, I just can’t fathom how to put them into action.
My husband is an INTJ so he is great at stuff like that; I feel like I’m just the exact opposite.
The “hedgehog concept” thing makes a lot of sense. I have tons of random talents, but am not great any ANYTHING. I can almost predict how long I’ll be able to stick to one thing before the next thing I want to learn catches my eye, no matter how many times I tell myself “this is it, for sure, this time!!!”……..

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Corin Reply:
October 6th, 2012 at 2:15 am

I see people as having two orientations: lifestyle-oriented and workstyle-oriented. I’m a lifestyle-oriented personality. This means that most of the things that I truly value aren’t found from working, but instead are found during the rest of my hours. I think lots of INFPs are lifestyle-oriented where fulfillment comes from outside of the workplace. Placing high value on personal relationships, travel, freetime are all signs of lifestyle-orientation.

The problem is much of society and raising children is focused on Work Style Design and not Life Style Design. Work Style Design is where you try to figure out a job that will give us fulfillment and then we design our life around work. Life Style Design is where we figure out how we want to live and work is there to fund and support our life style. In Work Style Design, we learn attempt to learn new skills for work and we spend our free time learning and taking classes to improve those skills in order to get promoted or raises. In Life Style design, we figure out what skills we need to learn to make our lives better or more interesting, and we attempt to find work that will pay us to learn and practice those skills.

Unless working is how you find fulfillment, then continuing to find the right career is futile. Work is not how I find fulfillment and that’s why I got bored with a job after a couple of years. The reason why I’ve been programming at my current job for 7 years and doing web development for 16 is that it furthers the lifestyle I want to live. Someone currently is paying me to practice skills that I’ve use to connect to people, helped friends in a meaningful way and so much more.

Consider focusing on Life Style Design. Figure out the life you want, what skills you would need to have in order to live that life. Then figure out what kind of work you would need to do in order to learn those skills.

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Luke Reply:
October 7th, 2012 at 10:24 am

I’m 32, single, no debt (not much savings left either), with a college degree.

That’s interesting that you mention pursuing a Life Style Design instead of a Work Style Design. I thought of myself, and those who identify as INFP’s as Work Style Design. My heroes were types like Steve Jobs, Miyamoto Shigeru, or Albert Einstein. All people who had Work Style Design – maybe that is why they are famous?

My aunt, who is a nurse with no kids, and someone I respect, talks of her work as being “enough to live comfortably,” and I always thought I wasn’t like that. I quit my job in January 2011 and I’ve spent 22 months reading, traveling and thinking about what I could do that fit (passion x mastery x economic) and the result is I believe:
1) most people just fell into their career
2) most of the famous people started out early asking the big questions
3) maybe Life Style Design isn’t so bad after all

P.S. I might be misstating a lot of the above, but oh well

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tess Reply:
October 16th, 2013 at 8:05 am

Luke,

I have observed what you have stated as well. Most of the people that pursued a job, didn’t land where they wanted and have struggled trying to achieve that dream position, whereas the ones that “fell” into a career, seem to be happy in that destiny. What I have noticed is that those that got there serendipitiously for lack of a better term, are satisfied. I will add that those that were required to continue the family biz, never were interested and yet monetarily it would have reaped WAY more than they could have achieved elsewhere because it was already established. Also, people achieve status, fame, and recognition from doing a job they enjoy and excel at, because they invest heart and soul to make it succeed. If you are doing something right and getting results for your efforts, it gets noticed.

SO glad I found this blog!
I have too many things going on and its confusing and draining me. I LOVE learning too and take on advice from anyone and everyone (as long as it is not Criticism/offends me because I will STONEWALL) I don’t know what I should choose or how to prioritize. ( I seem to be writing goals every couple of days and researching new ways to write goals ) I work at 3 different places and am trying to become a professional at a certain sport. My goal (becoming a pro) does require money and I often feel guilty asking my husband for his time and money, and when we do go travelling to the events I feel responsible and guilty for everything that goes wrong and never seem to perform my best. I am also writing a book and find it helps me release my trapped emotions. I have been wanting to become a pro since I was 15 (im 21 now) and have done the sport since I was 6 (more than 10 000 hours) Why aren’t I there yet? I wonder to myself.

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Hello Corin,

After reading many times on your site, I just decided to share my experience.

I’m 34 years old, single, unemployed for one year, living in my parent’s home.
I have always been trapped in this circle : learning with a belief of my ideal carrier, struggling against unemployment to finally find a job which wasn’t fullfilling my needs, so stress, depression, and I was thinking about a different carrier.

At first, I decided to save the world against pollution. So I studied, but in an administrative carrier of environment care, because I wanted to please my parents who value security of being employed by the government.
So I discovered that the job I studied for wasn’t so needed, and after unemployment, find that it was very boring to do the same tasks everyday, with no meaning, except respecting the laws and rules. Environment protection wasn’t the point, just to follow the rules.

So I decided (maybe Te’s choice) that computer analyst will give me a lot of money, and I won’t be unemployed no more. But the studies was difficults, and even if I graduate, I didn’t find a job, because the climate wasn’t appealing to me, and I discovered by working 3 month in a society that I needed to see people during my job, and being alone with the computer 8 hours a day was making me view suicide as a good choice!

So after unemployment, I turned back to my parent’s country, where I worked for a municipality until I decided to change my life. It was possible to me to try to be a teacher, for little children. Very difficult. I was working at being very organised, struggling against the pupils who was difficult to me, because I don’t know how to rule them, just know how to councel them. And I discovered that working in my job, and in my house was binding me to this job too strongly. I needed, in fact, to have another life after the job.

After is a melt of unemployment and boring standardised work with no soul but plenty of rules to follow.

Now I still am unemployed. I lost a lot of my time, maybe 6 years, at trying to find the right path to me. The bad ones always teached me a piece of what could make a good job to myself.

I always have cooked, as it is like making magic spells with good tastes. I also have a huge interest in health and fooding. So I thank about being a dietician, or a french pastry maker, because I can’t travel without tracking facts about food, and means of improve a food, and I never stay away from the kitchen, always thinking about a mean to make some food which power could be to heal or improve health.

But I fear it’s just a fantasy of my brain, always daydreaming about a better life. I’m in a age whereI need to earn money for sure. In a not boring way. Difficult to me to choose the right path, as it is needed to follow many years of studies, without knowing what will happen after.

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Hi!

I’m also an INFP, a 39 year old Swede, so please bare with my English.
INFP:s are often depicted simply as “dreamers”. However, I don’t fully see myself as a gullible fool wandering about in a dreamy world. E.g. I’m able to see the essence of things much more quickly than NT types. But then again, if you’re still trying to figure out the perfect job at 39 (which I am) I suppose you’re a bit dreamy…

As to the 10 000 hours thing, I guess the result will vary, depending on how well/relevantly those hours are spent. And maybe INFP:s are foxes after all? A bit like journalists, happily moving on from subject to subject. Maybe we shouldn’t blame ourselves too much for doing that (I know it’s hard not to).

One thing I’ve found helpful as an INFP is to become a bit more structured by learning some time management (I think it was David Allens “Getting Things Done”). I also find it helpful to decide to spend a certain amount of minutes to a specific activity. It stops me from thinking “should I really be doing this now” or “will this take all day?” No, it will take X minutes. That’s it.

You can have fun (important for INFP:s!) planning a list with activities and breaks and then execute them one by one like a robot. I find that this method makes me extremelly more efficient and it “liberates” me from my INFP downside of wasting time hesitating “do I really feel like doing this now?” etc.

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some infp Reply:
May 22nd, 2018 at 10:31 pm

thank youuuu!!!! the x minutes thing makes so much sense.

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Thank you. I can already tell this blog will be a great help to me in my life. Just becoming aware that these things that I do, ways that I am, are common among INFP’s. It helps. I’ve been described by friends as flaky, fickle, and flighty. I pick something that I’m good at and dive in but it’s not long before I get bored and want to move onto the next thing. This manifests itself in all aspects of my life.. relationships, career, hobbies… It’s hard.

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This is so helpful! Interestingly, I know what my “Hedgehog Concept” is – autism therapy. But as you described, I have wandered around, checking other possibilities and not focusing my energy. Reading this article helped me realize that at 35, it’s time I picked a focus and stuck with it.

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Hi I’m 22 and recently realised I am an INFP 🙂

I did accounting in college – although I was ok at it, my career choice when I was 16 was probably more an attempt to help the faltering family business than due to a true interest in numbers.

At the moment I’m in a soul destroying accountancy job with an insurance company. Despite slogging my guts out every day, i don’t feel any of the work I’m doing achieves anything (or is appreciated)

At the moment I am contemplating going back to college – to do a conversion course in law. I have a genuine interest in current affairs and law, and want to have a fulfilling career. I want to help people but I’m not naive. My fear is that I will get swept into an industry where my values and beliefs will be conflicted.
Any advice or thoughts?, they will be much appreciated. Thanks

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Corin Reply:
May 12th, 2013 at 12:53 am

First, you have to decide if you’re a career person or not. If you’re not, then no career is ever going to be fulfilling in the long run. You’ll end up being bored with it after 5 years.

If you are a career person, most surveys say that environment is more important than the work. Basically a good boss and good co-workers are more important to happiness in the work place then what you do every day. What that means is, do you like the people in current affairs and law? If not then, even if you have a great job, the people will make your job feel miserable.

If you’re not a career person, then I would recommend figure out they lifestyle you want to live and then figure out what kind of job will best fund that life. If you want a life of travel, working 60+ hours in law isn’t going to let you create that life for the first 10 years at least.

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tess Reply:
October 16th, 2013 at 8:20 am

Right ON!…Being an INFP, having a human behavior degree, and doing almost every job under the sun because where I reside has a transient quality that biz’s come and fold every few years, so you can be downsized, displaced or laid off chronically through no fault of your own. I can say with authority, most jobs can be done, if the environment you are working in is favorable to the person. “N” having worked in the insurance industry, let me assure you, most reach threshold in that environment no matter what your job title is, as it just seems to be the nature of the industry. They are more concerned with bottom lines than most, and don’t regard values or beliefs of most of their employees. So I hope that validates your perceptions as being on target!

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**Warning** Long post. As you can see…

Hi, thanks for the article. For years I’ve been trying to figure myself out because I seem to be drastically different from those around me. It turns out that the reason it took so long was because I wasn’t being completely honest with myself. Your articles helped reinforce some of the revelations I’ve had in these past couple years. My cousin kept telling me about how I’m such an Idealist, and though I agreed, I didn’t think it affected me that much. However, it kind of dawned on me why I have these A.D.D.-like qualities, like your fox reference, I like to switch from life goal to life goal. I am easily drawn in by the idealized view of a hobby or career so much so that I try “claim it” but eventually the excitement wears off and then I realize that it doesn’t make me happy anymore. Your happiness engine concept is really helpful. I kind of knew in the back of my head somewhere that the things that drove me were recognition and peak experiences but just seeing it printed is kind of a revelation. I always thought that my desire for recognition was prideful and that it should be put in my mental wastebasket, I never stopped to think that this is just the way some people are, and it was a natural part of me that I shouldn’t necessarily fight.

Anyway, I started typing this to ask you a question, and it is, that based on my recognition and peak experience happiness engines being mostly in control, what career would suit me? I am all across the map on this one because nothing really makes me happy only the highs I get from thinking about my perfect world, the indescribable feelings from mulling over philosophies and new thoughts, or the recognition from different situations make me feel content. Well, that and a big wad of cash. No, but seriously, how can I not remain poor as an INFP. It’s so very hard to get myself to stick with something long enough to reap the benefits because all along the way it just doesn’t seem worth it. Even though it is… yep I’m a nutcase.

By the way, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with the OCD quirk.

Also, about the whole recognition thing, the only thing I have sort of stuck with over the years was drawing because people always complimented me on them when I was a kid. I don’t know if I’m this way because I wasn’t used to being recognized when I was a kid or what. Do you think that this will go away as I find people that are more emotionally nurturing? Could I just be this way because I’m deprived of it or because it is apart of my natural personality?

Daydreaming is my pitfall and everytime I can’t seem to get out of it.

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Corin Reply:
May 30th, 2013 at 4:42 pm

If you have time to read my horrendously long articles, I will take time to read your comments. Thanks for reading.

I have a hard time answering questions about career because even though I currently work as a programmer, I consider my career is has really been focused on retiring early. This is my career because it matches my 3 highest values: Freedom, Creative Self-Expression and Connection. I get to do all three as I try to learn how to create financial freedom for myself.

My best advice for you is to decide to what kind of life you want to have and live? What kind of feeling does that life give you? Once you decide the the live you want to live and the feelings that you want from living that life, then career should be based around what activity will produce those feelings long enough for you get 10,000 hours in.

I’m in the process of writing a new article about Life Style Orientation vs Work Style Orientation. Some people are not work oriented and making a career as the focus of your life if you’re Life Style Oriented will just make you unhappy.

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tess Reply:
October 16th, 2013 at 8:27 am

may I suggest getting a copy of the Artist’s Way/ Julie Cameron, it might help getting past what you wrote here, and would nurture the creative side I think you need to ignite.

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This post strikes a chord with me, not only with the difficulty of putting the Hedgehog Concept (HC) into practice, but the struggle I have being an INFP with a mild form of narcolepsy (without cataplexy) which causes excessive daytime sleepiness EVERYDAY without fail. Since getting treated–albeit reluctantly–with medication twice a day, it has opened my energy levels up for opportunities to practice the HC.

“Why” was recurring theme when questioning my cognitions and behaviors. That is, until I found the type indicator and realized that this is me; the way I process things is okay. I’ve always had this feeling of not being “normal” since I felt like I thought so much deeper than the majority of people.

(By the way, it’s great to read everyone’s comments and feel understood!)

Now the question is “what.” I can’t seem to figure out WHAT to do for an occupation that can give me: independence, a creative outlet and a flexible schedule, while ideally 😉 working from home. I am passionate about music–maybe even art, I like to research things that interest me, and I have even thought about making jewelry and crafts to sell online.

This is where the HC comes in: I’m attempting to teach myself steel-string acoustic guitar via the internet and I have very limited training in the music field, namely singing in school choir in my pre-high school years with some, I may venture to say, natural ability. I have been flirting with visual art (painting mainly), and although music IS my passion (from what I can gather 🙂 ), I’ve been stuck in planning mode and waiting for inspiration to hit or that lightbulb moment of “this is my calling!” I’m sure this is partly due to my fear of failure and lack of patience/direction.

I feel quite hopeless about what occupation to choose (can we INFPs really say “choose” or is it more like occupations may choose us?). In the past I have gotten interested in a field and have set out on that path with gusto. Only to come to an abrupt realization that it is not what I am meant to do. Example: my current job as a personal trainer/group exercise instructor. Not me. At all…and I’m quite miserable, especially considering I’m a generally happy person.

Any advice is welcome. Corin, thanks for the excellent and insightful post.

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Corin Reply:
June 24th, 2013 at 10:36 am

I finally decided that I’m just not a work-oriented person and trying to be is fighting my nature and that’s never good.

So I’ve been focusing on life style design instead of work style design. Work style design is where my focus is on what kind of work do and I want how to I re-arrange my life (more schooling, change in profession, etc.) in order to have the work. Life style design is where you focus on creating the life you want to live and purpose of work is to fund it in the most pleasant way possible.

In life style design, I’ve been asking myself questions like, what do I want my life to mean, what do I want to create, how would I contribute if I didn’t need to worry about money? What I’m passionate about is my life outside of work. So how does my current job contribute to that life besides monetary? I realized that my job as a programmer stress free so it doesn’t take my energy when I go home. I realized that it gives me a lots of vacation days and a lots of flexibility in using those days so I can arrange work around my life instead of the other way around.

You probably became a personal trainer because you wanted to help people and change lives. I know my wife’s life has changed after she got sick because of a personal trainer.

I know I was unhappy with my job for the longest time because I didn’t know what kind of life would make me fulfilled so I was hoping that find a job that would make me fulfilled. Now that I have a better understanding of the life I want to create, the purpose of a job now is to help me move to the next stage stage of life creation.

I’m hoping that helps. I’m working on my new post on Life Style Design which hopefully will expand on this idea.

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elly Reply:
June 24th, 2013 at 6:51 pm

I finally decided that I’m just not a work-oriented person and trying to be is fighting my nature and that’s never good.<—That hit the nail on the head with me! I know I'm not lazy…I'm learning guitar, reading about psychology, keeping up with my two pups…I could go on! That took some convincing from myself though, that yes, I AM a very motivated person…I am just not a workaholic.

I have been searching hard since I graduated to find my career path; having a "career" and climbing the corporate ladder and being "successful" in societal terms gets drilled into our heads from a very young age.

You won't believe what the sermon yesterday in church was about…yep…WORK. God is trying to reach out to me and tell me, "Look, Elly! Be grateful for the job you have now! I have blessed you with this." Funny how God knows just what to show us when we need it…

Even after the sermon, though, I was feeling a little bit helpless about my situation and then you, Corin, you speak such wise words that resonate with me much like the sermon did. Thank you.

Lifestyle Design may just be what I've been looking for…

One thing I was to leave you all with is (from whomever quoted this originally) "Happiness is a state of mind." We are blessed!

And Corin- I'm so happy to hear your wife has benefited from the help of a personal trainer, especially after an illness! May she continue to enjoy health and happiness.

I look forward to the Lifestyle Design post!

-e

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The comment about being life style oriented and not work oriented resonated for me. The societal message is a very different one, so of course. I’ve been trying to fix myself for years now. I’m not lazy, I work very hard at things I care about. And I tend to be reliable and conscientious. But the minute something starts to feel like a job– where I’m somehow beholden to others, my interest flies out the window.

I’m pursuing work (a career if you will) that exposes me to organizations and causes I’m interested in. The possibilities for networking and learning are endless. I’m hoping that with proper nurturing, this can become a life style thing that pays. For reasons I don’t understand, I’m a lot more productive and creative when survival and money don’t factor into it…

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I am an INFP. I am 51% I and 49% E. I am an estate planning and real estate attorney with an undergrad degree in finance. My father insisted I pursue something practical in college. He was not amused my English degree interest. 🙂

I am 40 and I am at a crossroads. I have been practicing since 2006. I am starting to get a little bit bored in my job. I also know that I need to work harder at getting more business. I am self-employed, and I know I could never work in a law firm.

The conclusions I have reached in my mid life re-evaluation might be helpful to some people on this blog. 1st, sales is a valuable skill. I have had opportunities to learn it and I should try to be better. Real estate sales is just one aspect of real estate. I am very interested in learning all about real estate. I have an interest in anything that relates to property or any sort. That doesn’t mean I have to sell it. There are other positions in real estate, i.e., appraiser, attorney, title company positions, surveyor to name a few. If someone did not want to go to law school, I think that financial planning would be suitable for an INFP. We sell ourselves to employers all the time. We sell our ideas. INFP’s can sell. Selling can be a lucrative business that allows one to express one’s self. Sales is about relationship building. Don’t write off sales.

I don’t think there is going to be a perfect job out there for an INFP. You have to figure what you can stomach. I have decided that having clients who are individuals rather than corporations works well for me. It is more personal and allows me to build relationships, which I like.

I have a lot of freedom as my own boss. I have the freedom to express my individuality.

The main draw backs to being an attorney is that I have to work very had at my attention to detail. I over analyze things. I am sensitive and had to learn to take things less personally and deal with conflict. But isn’t that just par for the course to survive in this world?

Working completely by myself doesn’t allow me to collaborate with other creative types. I need that, and I am looking for it. Working by myself keeps me from being oppressed by ENTJ’s. lol

I am looking for other opportunities to let me collaborate, express myself, and work on projects. For now, I think I will stick with estate planning and real estate work.

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tess Reply:
October 16th, 2013 at 8:41 am

Loved your post Jennifer, and totally agree that sales based on relationship building is ideal for an INFP, because you can sell what you believe in. And it is all about threshold (ability to stomach) and what is tolerable for an individual. Sales gets a bad rap sometimes, but really we are born salespeople in life whether you embrace that or not, everyone is doing that ALL day long, because it is all about stuff like negogiation and presentation. If you like what you are promoting then it is easy to promote any idea in life, therefore “selling” it. And to be successful in promotion it takes relationships, because people will buy from those they trust. All of life is pitching ideas, concepts, and building connection. Collaboration is the human condition otherwise all of us would have a self sustaining island with zero need for anyone. YOU GO GIRL, you “get” it! Press on!!!

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I am 34. I was a Film Librarian, a Carpenter, a Video Editor and now I’m studying to be a Forensic technician. I can’t tell you how happy this article makes me. I’m happy that so many people feel the same way and are in the same mind set. Sometimes, when I look at others, it’s as if I’m the only one that has a perpetual need for change. Which can be extremely interesting and never boring but it is also very unstable. And sometimes, stability is what I need most but can never obtain.

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tess Reply:
October 16th, 2013 at 8:48 am

I think you are just enjoying the banquet of life in a healthy way. Stability is fleeting, once you grasp that the only thing certain and stable is the moment we are in, it is a highly freeing discovery. Comparison to others is futile, as you are unique, so what works for others, probably won’t resonate or work for you, don’t waste energy on their adventures or journeys, just invest in your own, follow your gut and embrace that desire for perpetual change as healthy and life giving, not as a negative trait.

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I googled “is sewing a good hobby for an infp” and found your blog… Lol
Words can not express how much I relate with this article and feel as if I am losing my mind at times.
I am trying to find my “purpose” in life.
So many things excite me lately that I’d like to pursue, but I never seem to stick with anything. I’m assuming that I haven’t found it yet?
Being unemployed at the moment, I feel like such a drain on my fiancé.
I truly want to contribute financially but by doing something that allows me to be creative, not a sell out… (I will never be a 9-5er as I despise Corporate America and all the evil that comes with it)
Anyway, you have a new follower. Thank you for this site:)

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I learned I was an INFP about 20 years ago. I am now 65 facing retirement and I am still wondering what to do with the rest of my life….
I know I’ll find something interesting. But transforming a hobby into a full time passion is not necessarily an easy task.

The challenge is always the same. When a big life change is foreseen, the dreamer/reflexive part takes of me takes most of my time and sometimes almost turns into an “analysis-paralysis”.
Any retired INFP out there ? If so how did you face this part of your life ?

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STurner Reply:
May 10th, 2014 at 8:14 pm

In an INFP too and for all of my adult life I have been looking for a career that suits me. I’ve done the career tests and have tried a few jobs/careers, but not finding a place where I belonged left me feeling depressed and floundering.

I purchased a book called ‘Refuse to Choose’ by Barbara Sher. It’s about people who have lots of interests and refuse to be locked into one career all their life. These people’s main purpose in life is the love of learning. She calls these people scanners. Other books call them renaissance people. For a while I thought this was me, but there was something still niggling.

I then convinced myself that it was my low self-esteem. I purchased a book for that and did a lot of cognitive exercises thinking that would help me go out in the world, but even then, it just didn’t feel right.

Then after reading about an old schools fiends success and feeling low about it, I read a blog that mentioned Barbara Shers other book called ‘I could do anything, if I only knew what it was’. I got it and devoured it all within two weeks,, stopping from time to time when the revelations hit me. I then went back and slowly went through the exercises. Barbara believes that everyone knows what they want, but are blocked by fear, society and family influences which leads a person to be side lined else where. Just like the ugly duckling story. She seems to put a new spin on blocks and resistance that I’ve never seen in a self-help book before. What I love also, is how she doesn’t believe in self blame and she doesn’t believe in raising self-esteem by doing exercises. She says just go out and attempt things and your confidence will grow.

Long story short, after only having this book for a few weeks, I have decided to go back to College part-time and study music (which I haven’t studied since I was 19) at 40 years old. Being a musician was always my dream but the pull of staying safe, within my families expectations was stronger than any silly dream I had. I know in my heart this is where I belong and where my tribe is. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been this excited about life.

Summing up, I cannot recommend this book highly enough for people of any age who feel lost. Do a online search for the book, read the reviews and see if it is for you.

Good luck everybody.

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I too am in the middle of this struggle. I find it ironic that INFP are some of the best at identifying and motivating others to find their passion, yet I find that mine is ever elusive. When ever I think I found one among the billion things I ‘could’ be doing, I try it out and find it doesn’t at all move me in the way I imagined when reality is added to the picture…. I also struggle with the having to survive in the meantime.

Maybe we need an INFPs for INFPs find your inspiration/passion where we specifically help one another find what we love…. In the end we might find that being a contributor on that site is what we do actually feel passionate about … maybe?

I for one feel like I am lost in the catch 22 of posibilities and can’t get my action gear on to move in any direction. So it looks as if after this summer I am back doing what ever just to survive… which I’m usually pretty good at doing once I ‘subdue and convince’ my dreamer that there is no place in reality for my dreams.

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Great article about me. LOL. Would like to help you guys, my fellow INFPs. This is free by the way. LOL. As per my semi-life coach, “There are 2 very important factors to win in life. One is Commitment and the other is Attitude. Once you control that 2, no matter who you are, you can succeed.
Too many of us have this feeling of fear about our future, and too many of us have this not so good habit of procrastinating. Too many of us love to think about our future, plans how to be successful. then visioned ourselves successful already. After that, we abandon that vision because we already succeeded in mind. Then Plan B. Again. Then abandonment of vision again.
So for me, we need to create a list of goals, then “COMMIT”. And because we are that passionate, we will succeed. surely. Would like you to help explain more about commitment. But yeah, I guess it is the most important thing for us INFPs to be successful. Comment now 🙂 Hi guys!

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We easily get inspired. we get inspired on what we read, we get inspired on what we watched, we want to do all these things. After a day or so, we abandon the idea.

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I just love this blog. I keep going back and rereading the articles and the posts. I can relate to all of you!!

I am totally stuck in analysis paralysis lately. I feel like all of sudden all of my ideas just disappeared (because Ive managed to talk myself out of all of them!!!) and Im drawing a blank. Im worried I might fall back into a depression. I WANT to be an expert in something – I want to dedicate 10000 hours to something and be respected as an expert in something.

My typical thought pattern goes something like this:
-Decide that an MBA is for me because it opens the doors to entrepreneurship and making some of my ideas happen
-Then I get worried because well now I can’t commit myself to becoming a search and rescue firefighter
-So then I say, well Im not strong enough to be a firefighter yet so Ill spend an hour a day doing intense workouts
– And then I think well maybe I can be a part-time search and rescue firefighter, and part time writer, and part time businesswoman

I just dont want to close the doors on anything!! Its like I think that business people are SO opposite from firefighters (I mean they are but someone can be fit and strong and volunteer for search and rescue and be a business person).

In the past year the following ideas for careers have gone through my head
-dietician
-sociology professer
-entrepreneur (I don’t like how with this, things are uncertain)
-medicine (I like the idea of being respected and helping others but i dont excel at sciences)
-mba with a focus on sustainability
-lawyer (don’t know how i feel about the long hours, paper work, and stress)
-interior design
-search and rescue firefighter
-apparel designer
-property developer (why an mba is also attractive but then I think I could flip houses on the side haha)

So I can’t decide. It doesnt help that Im an INFP and I need to see meaning in what I am doing all the time …obviously firefighting would give me that but its not within my current skill set. Business is attractive but I worry its too corporate, but then I think well if I have my own start up then there is meaning and a potential to hire people and be a good boss. I also seem to want a career that is respected and so many of my entrepreneurial ideas dont hold much weight sometimes because I feel like … well Im not a doctor or an enginner so what am I contributing?

The worst part of right now is that I dont like where I am working and want a change so badly, but can never commit to anything enough.

any advice is sooo appreciated!

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Heba Reply:
December 13th, 2014 at 1:28 am

Hi Maja (is that male or female name by the way, I am curious!),

Well one thing I learned; for something to be common, does not set it to be the right way to do it or the only way. Why do you/ we have to have a degree on something before we work on that thing, I ask myself that every day and I figured it is probably coz I don’t trust anyone to do it as I want lol or as perfect I believe I will make it. Guess what you don’t have to have a degree on it especially when you are not sure you can commit to it. I think INFP are great starters but they never finish 100% the task. I usually drop it at 75% then leave it “at least when it comes to house chores!” my mom finishes the rest of it! I remember one day (4 years back) I was moving to another house and I wanted to paint the house! So I arrange with a relative to do it with me. I end up doing half of a wall of the house and the rest my friend relative did it coz I was busy at work “I thought I will finish it in a day or few hours” bottom line the goal is done, the result is better than I expected. That’s when I realized I can assign someone to do things for me all I need is pick the right person. Isn’t that what corporation dose, beside one hand cant clap and when u are feeling down that person will push you, and you will probably get the energy to do it from the anger you feel from all the nagging so u can have peace again lol. It is ridicules way to explain but I hope you get the point!

There is another conclusion I have made or maybe a tactic. I think I am the kind of person that can focus on things that takes minimum time or a one day task or maximum 2. I actually finish thing that is of great importance so fast! Like legal things or car registration, bill payment stuff like that I don’t get bored doing it coz sometimes if I don’t do them as planned I get restless.

What I want to say is since our objectives will take years to see the end result plus I am not sure what my commitment level is I thought taking a degree (based on we loving the possibilities of achieving that goal, or our expectation of it “let’s be honest” might not match up) is not such smart move! I thought first I will buy a book about it! “I have a problem reading any book except stories, I will never drop the story before I finish it and after I am done I don’t remember much of the details coz while I am reading there is a movie going on in my head, I am like that with whatever I manage to read plus I hardly read the same thing twise” if I manage to finish the book cover to cover that’s good sign I guess since sometimes I am not aware of positive feeling like I am about my negative feelings. The next step for me is take a course about it! A level certificate or something, then after that try to experience it or implement it in my daily life “like nutrition”! If that won’t cut it for me then maybe I should think about a degree. But don’t jump to degree right away. It will save a lot of money and disappointment I guess.

Sometimes if your interest drops after reading a book or taking a certificate and it’s been years and you still didn’t find something to commit for, you might ask you self maybe I am a quitter. Well first trying to find something you like for so many years and investing in it while trying to take the realistic and practical route means you are not quitter. Second stick to completing the objectives of your priorities list!

Thus you should have priority list (ex: religions, spiritual, health, financial, social,) work on them first while investigating your career choice so then you at least done something that you conceder important. Try working on them one at a time.

As for the business aspect or to be exact the “entrepreneur” it is best to take small steps. Why go global! As in starting a business? It is a lot of work, do u want to keep working all the time…. starting a business for someone who like to play first before working “talking to myself her” is an overwhelming idea. Just thinking of it make me tired, I only want to start a business so I can work when I want to and wake up in the morning when I want to. I don’t want to be stuck to the same routine every day; I want to have 6 months work and 6 months holidays! So maybe instead of becoming business person maybe I should focus on becoming financially self sufficient! That is more achievable. If you nail that maybe then consider business! At least if it all goes wrong it won’t be so hard on your pocket. I personally prefer online business, and people working from their homes! I will get extremely creative her and probably do something not many do in my region at least so I can have the minimum expenses and losses in case it don’t work out! A risk I can afford to take in other words plan for the worse and hope for the best.

Also you need to do one thing before all of that, you need to have your own definition of success or happiness. Does it have to do with your degree/ education level? Wither you have a business or not, does it have to be in things you have to work so hard on, can’t it be in simple pleasures? Like a nice meal, a regular holidays, great friends, cozy cottage.

Try to live one day at a time. We can get so caught up in the future and our dreams we have nothing to say for ourselves. I look at my friends now and ten years back. I used to have so many dreams “I still do” that I spend so much time reflecting on it and finally just now I realized what is the perfect equation for “me” to do it so I can “hopefully” act on it without further reflecting “I am pissed it took me this long”, because my friends who had no dreams or didn’t shared with me “coz I am busy thinking out loud I never asked them what they wanted” are way ahead of me! It’s kind of an issue when you are competitive!

Finally I would advise you to write all your ideas down, so in case it didn’t become reality it is there on papers that you might share with the word one day that it can become something big something real, something a million people will help you achieve. Now imagine how fast that will happen!

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Maja Reply:
December 14th, 2014 at 4:28 pm

Hi Heba!

Thank you for the reply! I am female by the way haha. My name is pronounced like Maya.

I can’t thank you enough for your response. It’s so accurate too. INFP’s really are all so similar!
You are right in that I feel I cannot pursue something until I am PERFECT at it (meaning lots of education and experience). I already have one degree but my enthusiasm for it faded over time (it was in nutrition). I am Happy I finished it because it felt good to accomplish at least one big thing! With some of my Masters options its almost as if I am procrastinating doing anything by continuing to study. What I should really do is find opportunities and get experience. That way I can start building 10000 hours in something through experience.

Your point about getting through a book is really good too. I RARELY finish a book. It takes alot for me to even pick up a book (not that I dont like reading, I just enjoy thinking more :O hehe). For example I recently got interested in studying economics and began to read one book on the oil trade but have yet to get to the second chapter….

I also like the idea of defining success and happiness for me, and to identify the reasons why certain jobs are appealing. You are right being an entrepreneur/pursuing business is appealing because of the idea of potential financial freedom and having a flexible schedule. But there are many ways to reach financial freedom that don’t have to include business ventures per say.

I read a career help book not to long ago and it suggested making a “dreams box” where you write all your dreams and ideas into a box. The point is to commit to one goal and whenever a new goal pops into your head to put it in the box, and continue with the original goal. One day, if you have time or money, you can revisit the box of ideas and who knows what can come of it! That’s exactly your suggestion too Heba so thanks, I need to start an idea box.

I also can TOTALLY relate to how others are so “ahead” of me DOING things, while I feel behind and stuck THINKING about things. That’s my whole problem with analysis and paralysis .. I honestly think anyone of my career ideas could be great for me and that there really is no one perfect choice. Your right I have so many friends who have chosen their career path and are now doctors, nurses, real estate agents, etc, etc. and although I don’t envy some of their career paths, I do envy how far they are, and how they are slowly but surely becoming experts. The thing I see with all those careers though is that they are straight line paths. For example nurses and doctors, you have to go through school which then sets you up for an internship and eventually you get qualified. I am not saying its tough because it is, but the road is set. Alot of the careers I am interested in, there seems to be multiple roads to get there which makes it more difficult to navigate and also more uncertain.

My goal now is to stop looking for career help and just to run with one of my career ideas for a few months and see how far I get. I mean I need to stop looking on blogs (expect this one, this one is AWESOME and insightful), reading career books, etc. I will be checking back here for posts and responses though! 🙂

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Heba Reply:
December 18th, 2014 at 1:48 am

Hello Maja,

I am glad I helped you! I didn’t get notified with the reply though!

About this dreams box… I actually came up with something like that. I wrote down all my desired objectives in each priority (which are many) I have and I organized /list it from easy to hard/ realistic to idealistic. I wrote it on an online journal and called it wish list this wish list that. I even decided what books I will buy and what courses “not degrees” I want to take that are related to my priorities or interest.

I am happy to hear that you finished your degree. I didn’t get their yet lol. I have diploma in computing though. These days I am thinking that if I finish my degree in IT I can actually work in making databases…. I can make a database for any category, construction, property, Human Recourse, Nutrition, whatever I want… and you know what you can do with all those info and data, Analyze it… isn’t that what we do most of the time in our heads anyway.

The courses I will take in my interest can be used in my database design and analyzing! I guess the best parts are: I don’t need to work with many people, I even have the last word I assume since I am doing it, I can do it from anywhere, its all about inspiration, I can make a living with it, it helps making other people work easy, it’s like doing the something but at the same time different! Well I didn’t make my final decision yet.

The last thing to say is this idea I had yesterday while thinking about the New Year, I will probably pick what step of my wish list I will take for all my priorities as a New Year resolution! And I have alife time doing them all; you know how we want everything to be done with now!

Happy new year in advance everyone.

I have 10,000 hours of practice in trying to figure out what’s my one thing.

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Maja Reply:
January 12th, 2015 at 1:29 pm

Haha!! I wish I could study self growth of myself and get paid for it!!

Why can’t we just put our ideas, any of our ideas, into action?!?

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Corin, first of all, I think you should write articles or a self-help book because your formulas and career insights are SPOT ON, and i think you should reach a wider audience – the information is truly helpful.

The Expected Value of Anything formula and how you explained it makes so much sense to me. It’s why I get so excited about something and within a few days my enthusiasm fades because I have done more research about the job or the industry and it decrease the value.

You are right – job shadowing and information interviews are by far the most helpful. Im proud of myself because I have done alot of these recently and its narrowed down my options substainially. I still need to do a few more before I solidify my next career move.

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Maja Reply:
January 27th, 2015 at 9:28 am

Whoops I put this in the wrong place …

Also I was going to add to that. If we are TRULY serious about pursuing a career, job shadowing should not be such a diffcult step to take.

Yes reaching out to others is hard but I have realized that if I am serious enough about something, I will inquire and take steps to follow through.

If I never take any steps then its all just a pipe dream in my head.

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Excellent Article ! I’ve been stalking personality type discussions online for seven years. This is the first time I’ve commented. The Hedgehog is simply the best analogy ! Thanks!

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Interesting article. I’m wondering though if a summary of the article in more blunt terms is this- quit floundering through too many fields and just choose one and do the 10,000 hours.

Is this the message here? I remember the first time I read Gladwell’s 10,000 hours statement and it made the INFP in me furious. I didn’t want to believe that was the only way to live. I read a book called Mastery by Robert Green and suddenly found some merit in specialization. But then there’s others out there who say this isn’t the only path and we don’t need to force ourselves. A book called the Renaissance Soul explains that we can use our multiple interests to form portfolio careers where many people cannot. Tim Ferriss write about how being a generalist makes him succeed, assuming he sticks with something long enough to learn the essentials.

So I’ve always been conflicted. Committing myself to the 10,000 hours is more than just time invested. For me it means going back to school for a whole new degree that I’m considering (lots of money and relocation involved). But I’m terrified that two years in I’ll be dreadfully bored with it, as always.

I wonder if it feels like forcing it for INFPs when there could be another alternative. But I see the merit in your post given that I haven’t stumbled across a true solution to date!

Interesting topic for sure. Only understood by people like us.

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Wow this is very good information. We’re pretty amazing People. As an INFP I’am Just like you and it feels great. Love to learn new things and have problem to do the same things over and over again. For me it has been dificult growing up in northern Norway. Untill I pasta 25(now 33) I never fit the society and not feels comfortable With those I use to be with. I also had read and write dificult.

To make the history short. I’ve try many Jobs but never enjoy it for longer than a year. Then I study engineering but only finish halv of the study. During this time I’ve learn that I love learn many things, not only one. I read tons of book learning people skills(it started with the famous “how to win friends and influence”). Then I read about job search and with those skills I got a jobb as a leader of apartment hiering company. Then I read and theach me the stock buying technich to Darvas. I put it to action in the stock market and have made good money on that(I realy recomand you to learn Darvas method. Now I read about buying and selling(house flipping) small apartment. I will soon build a small house andre selling it. Then I can quit my boring job and work with my stock and house fulltime.

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Appreciate for the article. you had shown me the way to cope with the issues.

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Interesting read. I’m Entj and can kinda see how a savior FI works in these kinds situations. My challenge is to know my values and apply it into my work.

This means that the work doesn’t define me but rather I strive to define myself through my experiences and actions. The more I get in touch with my demon FI, the better I feel I can interegrate my “uniqeness” into my business.

Again, a great read!

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